For Your Eyes Only

Notice of Entry:

On March 27th, we will be doing an inspection of all apartments. We hope to find each unit, including patios, in a clean and sanitary condition.

Much to my surprise, the compound I've created on our porch window is not only crusty, but highly unstable and heretofore unknown. Two black SUV's with tinted windows pulled up soon after, and I was interrogated by men from the US Department of Defense and Homeland Security. They were escorted by soldiers armed with M-16's. The apartment's a bit crowded - I'm not sure how the manager is going to do her inspection!

Some men in hazmat suits are taking samples, and Laura, our pet rabbit Leroy, and I are being taken into custody. I don't know for how long.

Please don't share this information with anyone, as we would be charged with treason. Right now, it looks like we'll just be charged with domestic terrorism (I think it's a misdemeanor - a fine, maybe). 

The formula is Seventh Generation Natural Surface & Glass cleaner, Los Angeles window grime and smog residue, and shed mini-lop fur and dander. Mix with a paper towel on a flat surface. Do not expose it to extreme heat, cold, solvents, or VH-1's "Celeb-reality" shows.