Tales from Lala Land

About two months ago I started part-time work as a personal assistant to an actress. She actually went to UCI several years before me and is a great lady and a tremendous performer. I really like working for her, and a few weeks ago she sent me on an adventure to a Mexican grocery store. I was unprepared for what was *literally* in store....

The bakery was festive. Very bright cookies. 

There was a bar kind of like a salad bar, but it had all fruit and jello. The produce looked good, and was guarded by all manner of plastic animals.

I was sent there to get a pork leg. "I'm not sure what they'll have, so call me when you get there," were my instructions. I found the meat counter. Boy, did I. 

Ok, we all know I'm a vegetarian and I don't shop for meat anymore, but I walk past meat all the time in stores and don't think much about it. I suppose because it looks like...meat. You know, like cuts of meat. But I was not looking at meat. I was looking at body parts. 

Beef tongue, anyone?

How about some feet?

I was so grossed out that I got a little giddy and had to take photos. I bravely approached the counter. I didn't see pork leg. 

"Hi, I'm looking for pork leg?"

"Let me show you." 

Man goes away. Man returns. With a pork. Leg. It turns out that pork leg is the size of a pork leg. A leg and a haunch. It's about the size of a two year old and I can see where the bone has been sawed through. 

"Oh, okay. How much does it weigh?"

"Thirty-two pounds."

"Whoa. Ok, let me make a quick phone call."

I left the store with 2 lbs. of pork leg. Now I know. 

The adventure continues...